I Am Factor

The I Am factor is very much a part of where my thoughts are.  There have always been people to talk about you get what you say.  Really that has more to do with a mind set and what you are willing to do to have what it is you want.  My I Am factor right now is about right position in my relationship with the Lord.  When my life is aligned with the will of Christ the other aesthetic issues will line up as they should.  God has made promises to us that will be kept beyond what man promises.  We also have to do things in God plan or we find ourselves out of the will of God.  He is the master planner and will execute his desire for us beyond what we think is right for us.

Traveling Through This Land

I've had something to say before now, but I kept putting off coming back here to say it all. This is by far one of the most beloved places I have every had to write and encourage myself. My family has been in a state of flux. We have lost 5 loved ones to death and their passing has left us shaken to the core.
Two of my very good friends are fighting cancer of some type. Both women have been strong and courageous in the way they have lived their lives and one is closer to leaving us than the other. It is so painful to know that they will be leaving us for I feel such deep connection to both and I don't want to let them go. But, they will complete thier journeys and the rest of us will go on.
Death is a part of life. I tell the young people in my life that life has to recycle. People come, people go. We all have to die. We all lose someone near and dear that we don't want to let go. These women have been such good friends and a compliment to their families and others. They have always been willing to help and have live lives reflecting the God's goodness towards others. My prayer for them is that God will not allow them to suffer long and I know his grace is sufficient. I know we will meet again.

Countdown to 2012

This year 2011 was hard for some .  I thought so.  It wasn't until I asked God to show me what  I was supposed to get out of this difficult place that I could see more clearly.  Finances, health, emotions, missed opportunites, desired opportunites not granted etc., etc., etc.  What I know now is that this year was necessary for the people I will meet and share with later.  When you talk to people and they tell you what  is happening in their lives you think truth is your answer to their issue, and it should be - without offending.  We should always be prepared to give answer for the hope that is within us and that include some details of some rough places we have been so others may know that we have been there too.  We don't all experience the same thing but, we all  hurt sometimes and miss the mark.

It's nice to know the seasoned women I have been privileged know have been in some tough places and through tough times. What makes the difference is that I know if God saw them to the other side of the road, he will do the same for me.  I am his child too and he loves me no less than them.  I wanted the easy way out.  Easy is not the norm in God's economy whether it is money, knowledge, wisdom or experience

it all costs something. I give honor to God for the year 2011 and desire with all my heart to do a better job of living in 2012.  I look  forward to a closer more intimate walk with the Lord.  I will still experience things that will not be as I wish, but to walk with the Lord through it all is what I choose to do.  Thank you Lord for all you've done for me. 2012 is looking good already.

Momma Said There'll Be Days Like This

It is a blessing to live long enough to see the things Mom had to say come to truth in my life.  Right now I am looking at so many truisms she said that loom real in my life.  "Keep Living", was not one of her quotes but the mantra of the mother of a former friend.  The "Keep Living Mantra" has shown me how wise my Mom was and if given the chance, I may have the same degree of wisdom to impart to some listener. Mom talked often about reaping what you sow, if I tell you a chicken dips snuff look under his wing, wait and see, I may not be her to hear it etc, etc, etc.  Mom had so much to say sometimes her silence was deafening. I want to be that wise, that Proverbs wisdom that I live out and am able to bless others with.  God has been so good to me and I have much more to learn as I continue to walk with him.  There is much about Mom that I want to emulate in my life.  I look like her as I age, but I desire to be as wise as she was. Her wisdom came from hard lessons learned and mistakes that she made.  It all cost her something and it will be the same for me.
I want to leave a legacy of strength and love like she did.

Relationships

Relationships mean more to me as I age.  Especially the ones within my family.  Our eldest sister is ill again, and each time she gets ill I become concerned. I know she is saved and I know no one could have her back better than God does.  But, I am her baby sister. I know that we are answers to our mother's prayers in the promises God made to save our whole household. Frances, Juanita and I are proof of that promise. I am the youngest and experiencing those feeling that come when your sister is sick.  Now that I think about it, being the youngest isn't the issue between us.  It is just cause it's just Sissy.  She has health issues that have taken away the feisty woman she used to be. It is hard to see but, fills me with compassion for her.  I thank God she is still here, and I can still do what baby sisters do to help.  I am grateful for my neices and nephew that do what they should for their mom.  We should  not slack when to comes to family, for I know God holds us to different standards.  His love is the measure we use to love others.  It will never be the same, but it needs to be as close as God gives us the strength to do.

YEAR IN REVIEW

2011 was a very difficult year.  But, I get it.  I am being called out to do something that takes having to be under pressure and some degree of difficulty.  I know that in life those of us who are of the household of faith find ourselves under the gun and it is not for us.  It is for someone else.  I know that God sent people to me the my past, that had been through what I had been through.  Their experience helped me tremendously.  Experience that we personally go through is not always the best teacher.  I tell that to my young people.  Experience, can hurt and destroy. It can also end your life.

God's grace allows us second chances.  He is a God of second, third, fourth chances and more because of the grace he gives to us.  Unmerited favor.  I know I have done nothing to deserve unmerited favor.  For God to love me like this is nothing that I earned. I thank the Lord for his great love for me.  At times it was the only I thought I had and more than I could return.

I look forward to the new year and all that it is going to bring.  I am bringing my "A" game and by the grace of God it will be his love for me and plan for my life that I will follow.  Doing what I have been called to do and worshipping him as King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

He Cares For Me

There is within me a spirit of restlessness.  I don't know what to do with it.  I have been here before and I find myself reevaluating some of my choices - again.  I don't know for sure what to do, but I know to keep calm and not make any crazy changes right now.  I am not sure if this feeling comes with age or just a real desire for something different.  Since I know people depend on me and other young women are watching, I must be careful.  I do have an obligation to live my life reflective of the spirit of God within me and because of that I have to be careful of choices and consequences.  I am praying for peace and direction.  I am a changeling in that I never stay the same from the inside out.  I like that God's care for me makes me want to be more like him. His everlasting love is my saving grace.  Many have proclaimed love for others but, there is no love like the love of God.  Time to watch and wait.  However, I will not be ringing my hands for God is truly caring for me.