They Left Too Soon

Our family lost 3 important people within a 6 to 8 week period. Each women was a star in our collective life story. We were pained to see them go. Shelia left first. She was my husbands childhood friend. She was a teacher who loved her students and poured her life into theirs. She never married or had children of her own, but gave her students - herself. It evident at her home going service where the church was filled to overflow, that even she meant as much to them as they did to her. Next was my friend of 40 years, Barbara. We got to see one another, talk about old times, how much we would miss each other, the provisions she made for her husband and how much she and I loved one another. I will miss how people were important to her and she made everyone feel welcomed in her presence even when she was so sick and knew she would soon leave us for good. Harriet, was a renaissance women. Harriet was my husband's mom and more then just a mother-in-law to me. She was brilliant about a lot of things, would talk your head off if you listened, and would always let you know how she felt. She was an advocate for others. Three days before her passing, she was in the face of the Director of Nursing about the other residents and what they needed. She was not shy and sometimes put people off by her direct hits on their character or lack thereof. She loved her sons fiercely and Damon, her only grandson was the light of her life. Without question, my life is better for having known and loved them so much. I am sure they have met in Heaven and are awaiting our arrival. I look forward to seeing Jesus and them when it is my time to go. They will never be replaced but always remembered in our hearts.

Tears

There are days like today that I find myself in tears for what seems to be no apparent reason. My soul doth thank the Lord for his goodness and mercy toward me and my family. He is a worthy God. If you know him you can't miss how good he is and how good he has been. I don't have the language to express the depths of my love for him and deep down I know that which I have is still not enough. Thank you Jesus just the same for loving me beyond what I deserve. Looking beyond my faults to seeing my needs. I'll cry until I stop and be grateful for he bottles my tears.

Which Way To Go

I am not always sure which way to go.  I do have, a loving Savior with whom I have a deep and loving relationship and he sets the course for what path I take. It is up to me to
be obedient for it is better than sacrifce. Often when I have chosen to go my own way the outcome has been bad. When I do what I am asked by the Lord, it may not have been what I would have wanted to do , but the outcome is so much better. God's way is so much better.
Many times I have thanked God for not giving me what I asked for. He is far more faithful than I am, and patient with me.
I thank him for his lovingkindness and tender mercy on behalf of someone whose payment for her debt,should have been
hell.

I Am Factor

The I Am factor is very much a part of where my thoughts are.  There have always been people to talk about you get what you say.  Really that has more to do with a mind set and what you are willing to do to have what it is you want.  My I Am factor right now is about right position in my relationship with the Lord.  When my life is aligned with the will of Christ the other aesthetic issues will line up as they should.  God has made promises to us that will be kept beyond what man promises.  We also have to do things in God plan or we find ourselves out of the will of God.  He is the master planner and will execute his desire for us beyond what we think is right for us.

Traveling Through This Land

I've had something to say before now, but I kept putting off coming back here to say it all. This is by far one of the most beloved places I have every had to write and encourage myself. My family has been in a state of flux. We have lost 5 loved ones to death and their passing has left us shaken to the core.
Two of my very good friends are fighting cancer of some type. Both women have been strong and courageous in the way they have lived their lives and one is closer to leaving us than the other. It is so painful to know that they will be leaving us for I feel such deep connection to both and I don't want to let them go. But, they will complete thier journeys and the rest of us will go on.
Death is a part of life. I tell the young people in my life that life has to recycle. People come, people go. We all have to die. We all lose someone near and dear that we don't want to let go. These women have been such good friends and a compliment to their families and others. They have always been willing to help and have live lives reflecting the God's goodness towards others. My prayer for them is that God will not allow them to suffer long and I know his grace is sufficient. I know we will meet again.

Countdown to 2012

This year 2011 was hard for some .  I thought so.  It wasn't until I asked God to show me what  I was supposed to get out of this difficult place that I could see more clearly.  Finances, health, emotions, missed opportunites, desired opportunites not granted etc., etc., etc.  What I know now is that this year was necessary for the people I will meet and share with later.  When you talk to people and they tell you what  is happening in their lives you think truth is your answer to their issue, and it should be - without offending.  We should always be prepared to give answer for the hope that is within us and that include some details of some rough places we have been so others may know that we have been there too.  We don't all experience the same thing but, we all  hurt sometimes and miss the mark.

It's nice to know the seasoned women I have been privileged know have been in some tough places and through tough times. What makes the difference is that I know if God saw them to the other side of the road, he will do the same for me.  I am his child too and he loves me no less than them.  I wanted the easy way out.  Easy is not the norm in God's economy whether it is money, knowledge, wisdom or experience

it all costs something. I give honor to God for the year 2011 and desire with all my heart to do a better job of living in 2012.  I look  forward to a closer more intimate walk with the Lord.  I will still experience things that will not be as I wish, but to walk with the Lord through it all is what I choose to do.  Thank you Lord for all you've done for me. 2012 is looking good already.

Momma Said There'll Be Days Like This

It is a blessing to live long enough to see the things Mom had to say come to truth in my life.  Right now I am looking at so many truisms she said that loom real in my life.  "Keep Living", was not one of her quotes but the mantra of the mother of a former friend.  The "Keep Living Mantra" has shown me how wise my Mom was and if given the chance, I may have the same degree of wisdom to impart to some listener. Mom talked often about reaping what you sow, if I tell you a chicken dips snuff look under his wing, wait and see, I may not be her to hear it etc, etc, etc.  Mom had so much to say sometimes her silence was deafening. I want to be that wise, that Proverbs wisdom that I live out and am able to bless others with.  God has been so good to me and I have much more to learn as I continue to walk with him.  There is much about Mom that I want to emulate in my life.  I look like her as I age, but I desire to be as wise as she was. Her wisdom came from hard lessons learned and mistakes that she made.  It all cost her something and it will be the same for me.
I want to leave a legacy of strength and love like she did.